System Status

ElkScale Platform Status

One Ongoing Incident

Last updated: Wednesday 25 March 2026, 14:32 UTC  ·  Next scheduled check: when Gary does his rounds

Component Status

Current operational status of all ElkScale platform components. Green is good. Yellow is a bit Gary. Red is Gary knows.

Component Status Notes
Gerald
node-01 · 12-pt Antler-Class
Operational Displaying expected behaviours. Mildly suspicious of new visitors.
Brenda
node-04 · 8-pt Antler-Class
Operational High throughput. Approached three separate user groups unprompted this morning.
Kevin
node-09 · 6-pt Antler-Class
Degraded Degraded Interaction results inconsistent. Entered treeline at 09:47, returned at 11:20. Reason unknown.
Dave, Steve & Others
nodes 02, 03, 05–08, 10–12
Operational Nominal. Gary reports "they seem fine."
Perimeter Fence
Physical Infrastructure · East Perimeter
Incident Active Post on north-east corner displaced. Temporary measure in place (a plank). Gary is aware.
Gate Scanner
Access Control · Raspberry Pi 4 (8GB)
Degraded Recovery Raspberry Pi required manual reboot this morning. Currently operational. Was not operational for 23 minutes.
Pellet Vending Machine
Consumables Dispensary · Main Gate
Operational Restocked Tuesday. Accepting coins. Not accepting the Canadian quarter someone keeps putting in.
Booking API
Gary's Email · gary@elkscale.com
Degraded SLA Gary has not opened his email since Thursday. SLA impacted.
The Rutting Node
On-site Hospitality · Public House
Operational Confirmed open. IPA on tap. Gary's usual stool unoccupied until next office hour.
Incident History

Past Incidents

A full record of platform incidents, resolutions, and post-incident learning. All incidents have been reviewed. Some have been reviewed by Kevin, who provided no feedback.

Resolved 2026-03-11
Node 04 (Brenda) accessed ticket cabin and consumed session confirmation inventory

At approximately 08:14, node-04 (Brenda) accessed the ticket cabin through a door Gary had left ajar and consumed approximately 40% of the printed session confirmations for the month of March. Duration: 1h 12m. Resolved by Gary using a distraction pellet deployed at the east feeding station. Remaining confirmations have been secured in a latched folder. The door now has a sign that says "CLOSE THE DOOR (BRENDA)." This sign is not visible to Brenda, who cannot read.

Resolved 2026-02-28
Gate scanner entered boot loop following unauthorised firmware update

At 07:55, the gate scanner (Raspberry Pi 4, 8GB) began an unrecoverable boot loop following a firmware update Gary did not authorise, did not understand, and cannot account for. Duration: 4h. Resolved by unplugging the unit, waiting, and plugging it back in. Gary has been advised not to click prompts he does not understand. Gary has acknowledged this advice. Gary has not committed to following it.

Resolved 2026-01-19
Kevin (node-09) sustained unbroken eye contact with Enterprise-tier customer for 11 minutes

During a 09:00 Enterprise session, node-09 (Kevin) established direct eye contact with the lead customer delegate and did not break it for 11 minutes and 40 seconds. The customer was, per the incident report, "unsettled." A post-incident review was conducted. It concluded that Kevin was not in distress, not exhibiting territorial behaviour, and was, in the assessment of Gary, "just being Kevin." No remediation was possible. No remediation was attempted.

Resolved 2025-11-04  /  Recurrence: 2026-03-01
Gerald (node-01) displaced north-east perimeter fence post — first and second occurrences

On 4 November 2025, node-01 (Gerald) made contact with the north-east fence post, displacing it from its mounting. The post was replaced within 48 hours. On 1 March 2026, Gerald displaced the same post for a second time. Current status: post is a plank. Gary is aware of both occurrences and considers Gerald "ambitious." A concrete footing is planned for Q3, subject to Gary getting around to it.

Resolved 2025-09-22
Pellet vending machine accepted a Lego brick and dispensed nothing

At an unknown time on 22 September 2025, the pellet vending machine at the main gate accepted a Lego brick (2×4, yellow) in place of a coin and dispensed zero pellets. The customer responsible did not come forward. Gary extracted the brick using tweezers and a headtorch. Duration: 35 minutes of Gary's time. The machine was recalibrated. No refund was issued, as no one claimed responsibility. The Lego brick is in Gary's desk drawer. Gary has kept it. He finds it funny.

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